From Brat to Mom

Today I found out that Mango is on sale. For your benefit sweetie, Mango is a clothing shop that originated from Spain which your mom loves drooling over. I adore their clothes, shoes, bags, belts…everything! And I think I am not the only one. Whenever this shop is on sale, you can count on all women yuppies here in Makati to be inside the shop, fighting over the best bargains and looking for the best sale. I was actually one of those women before I had you. I used to scour the racks for the best pair of pants and be willing to stand in line for the next available fitting room. I was so intense in my search for the best Mango bargain that I would actually feel bad if I left the shop without a shopping bag in hand (just to prove how desperate I was of finding a good purchase, I would normally go there over lunch and if I didn’t find any, for sure I would still go back after office, all hopeful and excited to find a great buy, as if hindi ko pa nakita lahat! hehe).

I am telling you this just to inform you how much I love shopping. But mind you, I am not the kind of shopper who would buy anything in sight or all that my heart desires. I still consider myself a smart shopper, a bargain finder actually. As much as I love clothes, shoes, belts, accessories, I still couldn’t allow myself to buy items that are ridiculously overpriced, knowing I could get those of the same style in other low end shops. My working principle actually is so long as you can carry the clothes and you can make inexpensive clothes look branded, then nothing wrong with buying them. For me, the price and brand become immaterial so long as the clothes look good on you.

Anyhow, as I was checking out the clothes in Mango over lunch today, I realized yet again how different my lifestyle was now (my spending habits specifically) as compared when I was single. There was a time before when everyday, I would go to the mall and purchase something over lunch. Basta, if not everyday, for sure I have something new every week, be it shoes, skirt, blouse, etc. My addiction to shopping was actually one of the reasons I didn’t save much in the early years of my corporate life. I didn’t care much about saving then. If not shopping, you would normally find me going to the beach or out of town like every weekend, dining out almost every other day or going to clubs to party every week. My gosh, if only I realized before how important it was to save, I would have so much money now in my savings account! Hehehe. So now, I regret not having listened to my mom’s ranting on how I should stop going out, spending my money on useless stuff. I remember one time I asked myself this aloud “Bakit kaya wala pa din ako naiipon?” To which my mom wisely replied “tingnan mo lang yun cabinet mo at dun mo makikita kung saan napunta lahat ng pera mo!” Hehehe. That’s how bad my shopping was talaga.

So now, I am mega tipid (this must be God’s way of punishing me for my aksaya ways in the previous years…hehe). Before I buy anything, I make sure first that it is an absolute necessity. I think my purchases through a gazillion times before I buy them. My principle now is everytime I see something I like to buy, I would think first of other more important things I would be able to buy for the same amount. Just to prove my case in point, below are the following instances:

• I bought your Tito Jay’s ipod before for P15K. However, after just 1 month, I decided to sell this because I thought with the same amount, I could have bought you a stroller and a car seat already!
• I would now pass on a chance to dine out with friends with the thought that rather than spend the money on resto food, I would just use it for my weekly transpo allowance or your diapers, baby food or movie dates with your dad.
• I used to hire a driver who would drive me around the city, to anyplace I want to go to. Now, I am even willing to ride a tricycle just to get to my destination. I have always hated commuting but good thing, I have learned to embrace it (with an ew! ew! ew! expression on my face…hehe).
• Instead of buying clothes in a mall, I now buy them in 168 (this is a place in Divisoria that is haven for bargain hunters. Grabe, sa sobrang mura dito, malayo na mararating ng P1,000 mo!).
• I never imagined I would enjoy shopping in an ukay-ukay shop because of the musty smell its clothes carry, but after having found P20 dresses, P100 skirts in ukay-ukay Baguio, I couldn’t wait now for the next chance I could visit one again.
• Before, the regular 3-day sale of the malls gets me excited. Now, I only look forward to finding Huggies, S-26 Gold/Promil, Nestle, on sale!

If you asked me years ago if I could give up shopping, dining out, out-of-town trips, I would have said no. But now, after getting married and having you, I realized I could give up a whole lot for my family and my family’s future. I would even sell all my shoes now in a heartbeat if it would mean more milk, diapers and food for you (good thing we still don’t have to go to this extreme…hehehe).

But that’s just it. Family life taught me to be selfless. It taught me to be mature, to realize that there are far more important things in this world than me, myself and I. I learned to put other people’s needs first before my own. I know now that the world doesn’t revolve around me, instead I see it now as revolving around you and your dad alone. My family is my life now. Nothing else matters but your happiness, security and well-being.

Hmmm…I guess this just proves that even the brattiest girl can grow up and mature into a responsible woman, huh? Wait until my old friends see me now, for sure they would ask me where the old Lovella has gone? To this I would say, where else but to motherhood for this alone I believe changed me to the core and turned my life around.

Motherhood for me then is one of the greatest cure for brattiness. Because when you think about it, no woman can be a mom if she herself is a baby.