Hmmmm…after reading all the entries I so far wrote, I realized something….I might be coming across to you as one boring mommy! My entries contain such seriousness, that I can’t help but imagine you rolling your eyes while saying, “Whatever mom with a capital W!” as you read my entries. Hehehe. Kaya I thought, to maintain my hip cool persona of a mom, I should write something every now and then that will give you a glimpse of the wacky side of me (and not all the time my side who’s nagpapaka-Siddharta, with all my words of wisdom chuvaness!!!). Hahaha.
So now, I am thinking of what to write kaya so you will have an idea of how I was when I was 
younger….Hmmm…should I give you a non-edited version of all my past adventures (a.k.a. my life of partying, crazy overnighters, on-a-whim out of town trips, etc.) ? Kaso if I do this, I might give you ideas on what to do to give your parents heart attack! (as I came close to doing to your Ingkong and Loli Onggay…hehe). But then again, by making kwento all these experiences of mine, you might learn a lesson or two (most important of which is not to follow your mom’s example!).
Hmmm…I think I should give this more thought. I need to reflect now on my past and get bits and pieces from it, stories that I can tell which may sound crazy at first but in the end you’ll learn something worthwhile.
Okay, I need to wear now my thinking cap. I’ll get back to you in a short while…Laterz sweets!
I have this vision in my head of the kind of person I hope you’ll become when you grow up. But among the many traits I have in mind, the most important one that I hope you will have is that you’ll live life with strong and unwavering faith in God. Your dad and I are not what you call devout Catholics. We’re not regular churchgoers or Bible readers but we make sure that we show our faith through our actions. Other Christians will definitely say that carrying on Christian actions in day-to-day life is not enough for we need to attend Mass, read the word of God to remind us of our spiritual being and strengthen our faith. I do agree with that, no doubt since I myself always feel bad that I don’t hear Mass every Sunday, especially now since by doing so I know I am definitely not setting a good Christian example to you.
Two of the people I know who have extremely strong faith in the Lord are your Loli Onggay and Tita Veron. They live prayerful lives, wherein they are the type who leaves everything up to God’s hands; hence they remain strong even amidst trial, disappointments in life. Your Loli never failed to remind us the importance of hearing mass. She always tells us to never forget to pray for God alone has the answer. She so wanted you to grow up prayerful that she even succumb to this superstitious act of offering your first cut hand nails to the patron in Quiapo Church. I did this of course because I also wanted you to grow into a life of prayer.
I want you to be guided always by the Lord in every decision that you make as you grow older. I want to instill in you the importance of showing your faith through actions, of being a man for others, for doing so you are also letting others see Christ in you which I believe every Christian’s purpose should be in this world. It is not enough that you hear Mass regularly or read the Bible. It is equally important, if not more, that you carry over the things you learned in Church to your day-to-day life and dealings with others. This is what I hope you will eventually become – a man for others, with extremely good heart and compassion for others. Hopefully, with our influence you’ll grow up to be as such. I definitely must set a good example for you and with this thought I constantly strive to better myself each day and become the kind of Christian that I hope 
you will be.
In line with this entry, I want to share this piece forwarded to my by a friend. This is just to remind you of the power of prayer:
GOD…
ALWAYS ANSWERS PRAYER
When the idea is not right, God says, “No”.
No – when the idea is not the best.
No – when the idea is absolutely wrong.
No – when though it may help you, it could create problems for someone else.
When the time is not right, God says, “Slow”.
What a catastrophe it would be if God answered every prayer at the snap of your fingers. Do you know what would happen? God would become your servant, not your master. Suddenly, God would be working for you instead of you working for God.
Remember: God’s delays are not God’s denials. God’s timing is not perfect. Patience is what we need in prayer.
When you are not right, God says, “Grow”.
The selfish person has to grow in unselfishness.
The cautious person must grow courage.
The timid person must grow in confidence.
The dominating person must grow in sensitivity.
The critical person must grow in tolerance.
The negative person must grow in positive attitudes.
The pleasure-seeking person must grow in compassion for suffering people.
When everything is all right, God says, “Go”.
Then miracles happen:
The door to your dream suddenly swings open and there stands God saying, “Go!”
If the Lord has you on hold... hold on!
If the Lord has said "NO" to you... thank Him!
If the Lords is molding your heart and mind... go with His change!
If the Lord opens doors that you have been asking Him to open... Praise Him!
Be blessed wherever you are in your life today! God has His hands on the situation!
You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you
(John 3:16 & John 3:34 )
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)
Last Sunday, May 14, we went to Loli’s and Ingkong’s house to celebrate your 6th month birthday and Mother’s Day. For Mother’s Day, I bought your Loli Onggay 2 different flavors of ice cream. I figured since ice cream is her most favorite dessert in the world, she would easily forgive me for not giving her any cash gift (hehe). And fortunately I was right! In the next two hours that we were in the house, your Loli was able to consume 2 mugs of ice cream and a cone. As usual, I couldn’t help but kid her about it, telling her “Mommy, di ka pa ba nasusuka? (hehe)” and to this she answered back “Maikli lang ang buhay nang tao. Bawal nga sakin lahat ng mga kinakain ko pero sige lang!”. In here your Loli Onggay obviously insinuates why the hell diet? Just eat everything you want for life is too short! This is your loli's philosophy and hearing this made me wonder, did she make a good point or is she inadvertently eating herself ill and had to be stopped?
Looking back at your Loli's weight problems and thinking of my titas’ current humongous weight (some are literally close to the weight of an actual inahin! haha), I can never agree with her. Besides having the genetics for obesity, I never can bring myself to eat everything I want without dreading the possibility I will once again be back to my overweight self (actually at present, since I haven’t lost all the pregnancy weight I gained, I am technically overweight but not naman fat pa [*gulp* I hope this is just not in my eyes]).
Ever since I could remember, I’ve always had weight problems. I am what you call “tabain”. Even if I don’t eat a lot, for some reason I gain weight easily. I remember my childhood was tainted with your titas and tito's teasing about my weight. My nickname is Bambi but your Tita Lori and Tita Veron lovingly changed that to Bambiik. And your Tito Jay didn’t also bother hiding how he thought of my weight because during the time in grade school, when we weren’t on speaking terms, he pasted this sign on his door: “Bawal pumasok mga baboy!”. So sweet your tito noh? And even your greatgrandfather called me “Hollow Block” since my chest at that time was so kapal and so lapad like a hollow block.
So you see, given the history, I naturally became conscious of my weight. I tried several diets: after 6 diet, 3 day diet, no rice diet, pasta diet, etc.! But all these never really caused drastic weight loss for me. It was actually only during my early 20s, when I started working and going to the gym did I go down to the weight I actually like (and that allowed me to wear any clothes I want). That made me realize that for you to lose weight, you really have to live an active life. There is no other quick way to losing excess pounds except by watching what you eat and exercising (or perhaps having your heart broken, but that I will discuss to you in future entries).
And when I say watch what you eat, it doesn’t mean you have to deprive yourself of food. Keep in mind that you can indulge yourself of course but know your limits. Make sure you do something to burn those calories (I will make sure you will lead an active life that is why as early as now, you are slated to take ballet/gymnastics lessons and swimming whether you like it or not! hehe). I don’t believe in making yourself go hungry since this will only just make you gain weight more once your resolution to not eat gets dissolved (and believe me, this will eventually happen unless you have officially become an anorexic! Or bulimic!).
And my sweet girl, remember there is nothing wrong with having a flab here and there. There’s nothing wrong with having a non-supermodel body (which brings me to tell you not to read fashion magazines! This will only make you feel insecure! Those models are not real, their pictures are actually airbrushed you know to be flawless and perfect! *This is your bitter mom speaking. Hehe*). But seriously, there is nothing wrong with having a non-perfect body. What is more important is that you carry yourself well and have confidence in the way you walk, move, interact with people. That will speak more volumes than having a mindless/uninteresting personality within a perfect body. And besides there is always a way to hide your physical flaws in the kind of clothes you wear. Don’t worry, mommy will show you how! And more on these in my future entries.
Love your body my Bea girl. Everytime you look in the mirror, always be thankful for the flaws and assets you are blessed with. You are beautiful my darling inside and out. Never forget that.
Ever since I learned I was pregnant, one of the things I planned on doing is make sure all my baby's milestones are documented so she has a way of learning about them when she grows up. Naturally, up until now my Bea's pictures have not been placed in an album and her baby book has not been completely filled out (sweetie, I promise I'll do this before your 25th birthday! haha). In my desire to lay-out everything perfect (i.e. divide her pictures into several categories: first week, birthdays, firsts milestones, family photos, etc.), I haven't gotten myself into doing anything! :D
So anyhow, I thought then of writing here my baby's favorites as of her age now. At least with this, Bea will know what her favorites were at 6th month old (and mommy's too at 26 years old). Here goes the list:
Bea’s Favorites (at 6th month old)
- Toy: flutterfly mobile (I bought this for you when you were 2nd month old and to this day you squeal with glee everytime you see it’s wings turning and hear it’s song playing.)
: Lamaze cube toy (Ever since you learned to sit up and crawl, you adore playing with this toy. You can’t get enough from crinkling the plastic side of the cube and from biting on the rings attached to it since recently you began teething.)
- Song: Where is Bea, where is Bea? Where is she? Where is she? Mommy, mommy, mommy! Mommy, mommy, mommy! I am here. I am here. (I sing this to you as I jerk you up and down on my lap, giggling with laughter as I move your arms with the beat of the song.)
- Food: Cerelac rice cereal (You can’t help but dance on your seat, from side to side, and squeal with glee while anticipating yayi’s or my next bite.)
- Past-time: Looking at the mirror (Everytime you see yourself in the mirror, you giggle so hard, squeal so hard that it makes us think a dwende must be playing with you…hehe…or you were just so vain that you soooo looooove what you see in the mirror.)
- TV show: Pilipinas, Game ka na ba (a show hosted by Kris Aquino; You’re very attentive to this show probably because of Kris Aquino’s high pitch voice or because of the lights you see on the gameshow’s set.) or
: NBA basketball game (must be because of your daddy’s influence, huh?) or
: Pinoy Big Brother (not a surprise since I love watching this show while I was pregnant with you)
- Game: “paulan” (you love making paulan with your laway! You can’t help but scream with glee everytime you feel your laway crashing on your face and you even look surprised whenever your laway hits your eye!)
Mom’s Favorites (at 26 years old)
- Movie: for this year so far it’s Mission Impossible III
- TV Show: Gilmore Girls, Grey’s Anatomy
- All-time TV Show: Friends
- Earrings: Loli’s Pearl Earrings
- Restaurant: A Venetto (Italian restaurant that is sooo cheap yet soo good!)
- Chocolate: M&Ms with peanuts
- Meal: the chicken and salad meal your dad prepared for me on my 26th birthday (not sure what they’re called...hehe)
- Past-time: besides playing with you, getting a massage, making accessories
- Expression: currently it’s “Are you serious?” or “Crazy!!!”
- Snack: Happy peanuts
- Ice Cream: Selecta’s Coffee Crumble
- Feeling: Hugging your dad as we sleep, kissing and hugging you of course!
- Sound: Your laughter
- Sight: You and daddy happily playing
I am now officially a blogger! I never thought I would ride on this craze, never imagined I would be sharing my thoughts, feelings, life stories over blog that can be read by strangers! But then again the idea of me getting into this is not so improbable since among my peers, I am known to be very open, often sharing my experiences, even the most intimate ones to closest friends.
However, what really prompted me to create my own blog is for my little girl Bea (who is 6 months old now) to personally gain insights on her mom’s own experiences as a twenty-something woman when she grows up. I figured this blog could be a way of imparting wisdom to my daughter. I am hoping, by the time she is old enough to read this (may not be directly from this site but through the print-outs I will have of my entries should blog fever fold), she 
will have a little more understanding of her mom’s personality, mind, inner being, both sanity and eccentricities alike, thereby helping bridge whatever generation gap we will have in the coming years.
Thus, this blog will be written with that perspective in mind. In every entry that I write, at the end comes a lesson I want my daughter to learn. Hopefully, my baby girl will appreciate this once she’s grown and will like what she reads about her mom.
Hmmmm…after reading all the entries I so far wrote, I realized something….I might be coming across to you as one boring mommy! My entries contain such seriousness, that I can’t help but imagine you rolling your eyes while saying, “Whatever mom with a capital W!” as you read my entries. Hehehe. Kaya I thought, to maintain my hip cool persona of a mom, I should write something every now and then that will give you a glimpse of the wacky side of me (and not all the time my side who’s nagpapaka-Siddharta, with all my words of wisdom chuvaness!!!). Hahaha.
younger….Hmmm…should I give you a non-edited version of all my past adventures (a.k.a. my life of partying, crazy overnighters, on-a-whim out of town trips, etc.) ? Kaso if I do this, I might give you ideas on what to do to give your parents heart attack! (as I came close to doing to your Ingkong and Loli Onggay…hehe). But then again, by making kwento all these experiences of mine, you might learn a lesson or two (most important of which is not to follow your mom’s example!).
