Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending...
Do they?
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Supermom
I have been silent on blog for quite some time now. Ever since I launched my multiply website, I never got to open blogger until tonight. I guess my obsession over blogging has been replaced by my greedy desire to check if I got any new orders on my online shop or any new inquiries about my items.
Or maybe, I am just using that as an excuse to cover up the real reason why I am not blogging as much these past weeks.
Oh well sweetie, it’s really because I am not feeling “wise” these days. I don’t think your mom is at her best at this exact moment, at this exact point in her life, enough to give you any words of wisdom or give you a taste of her own life experiences that you can learn from.
Your mom is simply lost – unknowing of where life is to take her, the kind of future that awaits her. They say “mothers know best”. But do I as as your mom really know best? If you ask me now, I will say no. For right this instant, I know nothing. I don’t have an answer for all the questions that you may throw at me now if only you are already old enough to understand and speak out. I myself can’t understand my own thoughts, can’t make sense of my own emotions, so how else can I possibly make you understand or even help you sort out your own thoughts, your own emotions?
I was led to believe that when you become a parent, it becomes automatic that you know instantly what will be best for your child, without any second thoughts. But do I really know that for certain? How can I know exactly if the decisions I have made so far or the decisions I will make in the future will only have positive effects on you? There is no guarantee in that so really, half the decisions I make in life will be based merely on blind faith, on the hope that everthing will turn out great for my baby, inspite of and despite of whatever mistakes I am bound to commit.
For even if I make myself a superhero in your eyes, the one who will always be there to protect you, to save you, to guide you, in the end I am just human. I am no superhero. I am no supermom. I am just a human being who breaks and falls at times. And when the time comes that you’re older and I find myself being at the same state as I am now, be prepared to switch roles. For that time may come when it’s your turn to be the superchild, the one who will protect, save, guide and comfort me.
For really, sweetie, no matter how hard I try, I am no supermom. I can only be the best human mom as I know how for you. I am bound to make mistakes. I am bound to not know everything. I am bound to fall, be hurt, to struggle. The one thing though that I can guarantee is the fact that no matter what point I find myself in my life, I can say with my whole being, that I live for you. You are my life and that alone is the only certainty I will and can ever live by.
Or maybe, I am just using that as an excuse to cover up the real reason why I am not blogging as much these past weeks.
Oh well sweetie, it’s really because I am not feeling “wise” these days. I don’t think your mom is at her best at this exact moment, at this exact point in her life, enough to give you any words of wisdom or give you a taste of her own life experiences that you can learn from.
Your mom is simply lost – unknowing of where life is to take her, the kind of future that awaits her. They say “mothers know best”. But do I as as your mom really know best? If you ask me now, I will say no. For right this instant, I know nothing. I don’t have an answer for all the questions that you may throw at me now if only you are already old enough to understand and speak out. I myself can’t understand my own thoughts, can’t make sense of my own emotions, so how else can I possibly make you understand or even help you sort out your own thoughts, your own emotions?
I was led to believe that when you become a parent, it becomes automatic that you know instantly what will be best for your child, without any second thoughts. But do I really know that for certain? How can I know exactly if the decisions I have made so far or the decisions I will make in the future will only have positive effects on you? There is no guarantee in that so really, half the decisions I make in life will be based merely on blind faith, on the hope that everthing will turn out great for my baby, inspite of and despite of whatever mistakes I am bound to commit.
For even if I make myself a superhero in your eyes, the one who will always be there to protect you, to save you, to guide you, in the end I am just human. I am no superhero. I am no supermom. I am just a human being who breaks and falls at times. And when the time comes that you’re older and I find myself being at the same state as I am now, be prepared to switch roles. For that time may come when it’s your turn to be the superchild, the one who will protect, save, guide and comfort me.
For really, sweetie, no matter how hard I try, I am no supermom. I can only be the best human mom as I know how for you. I am bound to make mistakes. I am bound to not know everything. I am bound to fall, be hurt, to struggle. The one thing though that I can guarantee is the fact that no matter what point I find myself in my life, I can say with my whole being, that I live for you. You are my life and that alone is the only certainty I will and can ever live by.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)